It’s past Wednesday and it’s Blog day. I’m striving to write a thought each Wednesday but this has been a difficult last couple of weeks, and I wasn’t quite sure what to write about. I had a very dear friend die. He was only 25. Died in his sleep. We buried him this past Tuesday. My heart was broken when I got the news. I loved him, and his precious wife said we were ‘two peas in pod’! They both worked with me last summer and I became his mentor. I had just talked with him for a long time the Thursday before he went on to glory on Sunday morning. A shock, oh my yes! But… in saying all that I am a believer. I believe there is a heaven and my friend Matthew is there. We buried his shell… but that’s the part we saw and hugged and laughed with. His heart was huge and he was a man of integrity, a value I hold most high in friendships.
My coaching, well it worked. All my years of counselling others, it worked to. But, at a time like this there are no words. Just love, hugs and those looks that say, “I get it & I’m so very sorry your heart is broken.” We shared broken hearts, memories that brought us laughter and then tears ran down one’s cheeks like a river.
I was asked to do the eulogy. Phew… this was a hard one! Have done a few before but this, well how do you say all that’s in your heart about this amazing man whose name was Matthew? I tried, but my voice broke sooner than I wanted it to. I didn’t want to cause others to cry. But it’s OK. I sat down and started to tell myself that it wasn’t ‘perfect’, as I so hoped it would be to reflect this man’s life like I wanted to. Then the next thing I said to myself was, “What would you tell someone who felt like you do now?” That’s the coaching part. Of course, it was fine [others said it was lovely], but when you are a perfectionist it’s plain hard not to do things exactly like you hoped. Did I do my best? Yes, and kept ‘perfecting’ the eulogy until I went up to the podium! It was what I wanted, to tell others how amazing this guy was and how God kept using him in so many ways. I had 22 Staff sitting there and a vast amount of folks praying for me, since they knew this was a hard one. I did it and God showed up, as He always does.
You see I speak and teach all the time but this was wrapped with heartstrings. So can we do the hard, sometimes very hard things? YES!!!!! We can say yes, or no if that’s what’s required. We can stand up, put our shoulders back, face the wind with a prayer in our heart and press on! That’s what we do. That’s who we are. Press on dear ones. Press on.